Thank God For Rumors
by catharticdeficit
Summary: Haruhi makes a callous comment and Kyoya is set to prove them wrong. Mei intervenes but her way to bring the two of them together might be more than what the pair could swallow. Includes a lapdancing Kyoya.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Thank God for Rumors or The Right Kind of Wrong**

**Author: **catharticdeficit

**Rating: **T pushing it to M

**Genre: **Humor/Romance/UST/Usual plotting best friend/Totally Hot Kyoya (This one should be a genre of its own. Anyone agree with me? Raise your left foot.)

**Pairing: **Kyoya x Haruhi

**Summary: **Haruhi makes a callous comment and Kyoya is set to prove them wrong. Mei intervenes but her way to bring the two of them together might be more than what the pair could swallow.

**Warning: **This was made while I was exhausted from work and suffering from severe lack of sleep and sugar-deprivation. So please ignore that Kyoya and Haruhi is too OOC, especially in the last scene. Remember, this is just fan fiction to cater to our inner fan girl's desire for something like this to happen in real life…at least in the series.

**Nod: **This sexy enough for you, Kalachuchi? Thanks again for the beta!

**1/2**

"People are saying that you're gay," said Haruhi one day out of the blue to Kyoya. They were in the university library as Kyoya was helping Haruhi out to prepare for her Management class, something the young man was highly informed in. Of course, it wasn't without payment: a day helping him with his stock research was the agreed compensation.

Haruhi wanted to suddenly hit herself. It wasn't what she wanted to say. Ah, well. Bluntness is a curse.

A curse that will surely show its repercussions in a moment or two when Kyoya says that spreading rumors is illegal and will say that it was grounds for adding to her debt.

"Is that so?" asked Kyoya, closing his laptop. He didn't look too pissed about it. Then again, he always was good at hiding his emotions--if he ever had any.

Since she already spit it out, might as well continue.

"I heard them talking about you this lunch in the cafeteria. They said that it was strange that you never had a girlfriend before. Let's see…Honey-senpai is dating Miss Reiko, Mori-senpai was seen a lot of times with Renge-san, Hikaru is with some girl who works for his mother, Kaoru's hanging out with some guy he met in design school--what's the betting that they're sleeping together?--and even Tamaki is courting countless of girls, though it's really not surprising, seeing as he's a huge slut."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow, filing the information for further use.

"Ah, I see." He shoved his laptop and books in his bag.

"Are you going?" said Haruhi, finishing up the last of her notes.

"Yes," said Kyoya, shouldering his bag and standing up. "Since you owe me for this little tutorial, I want you to do something for me, instead of the day of stock research."

"Of course, I should have known. What is it?"

"There's a party in one of those sorority houses this Friday night."

"And you want me to go there with you."

"Yup. See you at seven."

With a small smile, he sped off, leaving Haruhi wondering.

--

Haruhi adjusted the straps of her top in front of the mirror as her roommate, Mei, added the finishing touches to her hair. Haruhi didn't want to dress up, saying that a pair of shorts and a t-shirt was fine, but Mei was adamant. She knew about the party and was going as well, understanding that it was one of the year's highlights, as almost all of the students in the university was going to come--including all the hot frat boys.

"I hate frat boys," Haruhi had scowled. "Once they get tanked, it's all downhill from there."

She had underestimated the power of a girl with a mission: the sacred quest to get her own, uptight friend get laid. Mei knew that Haruhi would likely just stand in a corner with a glass of punch, greet people she knew, then go home after an hour. No, this time she was going there looking sexy, flirting with guys, getting pissed, and having fun. It was high time that Haruhi got some time to enjoy herself and not just pore over her law texts.

So Haruhi found herself scantily clad in a hot red top that made her boobs look twice as big (though sadly, still small), a black denim miniskirt that elongated her legs, and red strappy heels. She felt awkward and itchy from the make-up but she knew that if she protested any further, Mei would throw her precious books in the dormitory incinerator.

"So, who are you going with?" asked Mei as she went to make herself look presentable as well.

"Kyoya, I guess," answered Haruhi offhandedly as she practiced walking around the room in her heels. It would be troublesome if she walked around the party like a constipated duck.

Mei smirked. It was obvious the Ootori heir really fancied her friend, but Haruhi was so dense in these matters.

Maybe it was time to intervene.

This would be so great.

--

Kyoya was waiting for them at the dormitory's parking lot, looking oh-so-casual and devastating while leaning on his black Aston Martin. He wore a midnight blue button down silk Versace shirt with a black shirt underneath, pressed black trousers that clung to his hips like sin, and those wingtips shoes.

Mei wanted to squeal. Wingtips! Wingtips! Haruhi was such a lucky girl. Mei had never seen any of the guys that were hitting on her wear wingtips. And in her opinion, what you wear is what you are. And right now, Kyoya was looking so hot she was having flushes.

She just wished that Haruhi would show a reaction upon seeing Kyoya as well. It seemed as if she didn't even notice how good Kyoya looked and just said a short, "Hello. You're on time."

"And you're a few minutes late," replied Kyoya, straightening. He gave Haruhi a once over, his lips lifting slightly. "You look…nice. You too, Mei."

"Thanks," said Haruhi, shrugging. Mei wanted to roll her eyes. This isn't what she was supposed to act! She was supposed to bat her eyelashes prettily, blush, smile, and flirt with him back! See, even Kyoya was trying to flirt. The least she could do was reciprocate.

Then she thought it over. This was Haruhi. Right.

"You don't look so bad yourself," Haruhi returned, which made the wheels in Mei's head spinning at an even faster rate.

"Yes, you do look like a demi-god, Kyoya-san," said Mei, looking at Haruhi for some agreement.

Kyoya laughed. "This is too much praise from both of you." He opened the doors of his car. "Shall we go?"

"I'm taking the back seat!" yelled Mei, climbing aboard. "You take the passenger seat, Haruhi because I need the space."

Mei knew that she wasn't being subtle about the Get-Haruhi-and-Kyoya-Together plan, but time's a wastin'. Kyoya raised an eyebrow as he slid behind the wheel. Haruhi just gave another shrug and climbed in as well.

--

The party was booming by the time they got there. The large house was already jam-packed with loud people, noisy music, sloshing cups of beer, the odor of cigarette smoke and God-knows-what, and of course, someone streaking around the room, giving the guests an unwanted view of his private parts.

Someone fainted in front of the trio while holding his can of beer.

"Shall we help him?" asked Haruhi as Kyoya and Mei stepped over the poor drunken bastard.

"Nah, somebody will come and get him or step on him and probably wake him up," answered Mei as she scanned the room for some familiar faces.

At that moment, another boy stumbled along and said, "Ishikawa, you sunuvabeetch! This is where you are!" He grabbed the fainted boy by the back of the collar, and shook him.

Haruhi sidestepped them and found Kyoya by the refreshment table, looking at the food dubiously.

"Where's Mei?" said Haruhi as she took a can of beer as it was the safest on offer.

"Some of her classmates came and took her away," said Kyoya, taking a can himself. He resisted the urge to ask for a glass, opening his beer. None of the club members used to drink before, but suddenly, when it was Haruhi's eighteenth birthday, the twins decided that it was time that they all got to taste alcohol. Of course, the boys all had before, but it was in minute amounts, just for show or when they were asked to taste. The night ended with Hikaru and Kaoru nearly hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, Tamaki proposing to Haruhi about fifteen times then when rejected proceeded to make love with a floor lamp, Honey attacking all furniture, and Mori hugging everybody and telling them he loved them with all his heart and soul. Kyoya didn't seem to be affected and Haruhi was sloshed herself but she just fainted. After that, they always had a drinking party once in a while, thought they tried to limit it. God knows what would happen next. Mori drunk off his ass was scary enough as it is.

"Shame that Hikaru and Kaoru aren't here," remarked Haruhi.

"They really had to go to Paris for their mother's fashion show. Since they designed half of the collection, it's proper that they be there for it. Mori-senpai and Honey-senpai are still training some of the British troops for Afghanistan," said Kyoya.

Haruhi grabbed a handful of the chips from a bowl, dropping it into her mouth. Kyoya stared at her, amazed.

"Do you even know the number of men who had gone to the toilet without washing their hands afterwards and ate from that same bowl?" he remarked, taking a sip of the alcohol.

"Probably more than half of the boys in here," replied Haruhi flippantly as she moved from the chips to the peanuts, which was just as repulsive in Kyoya's opinion. "But hey, who cares? When it goes to your stomach, it's still the same: carbohydrates and crap though with added bacteria and possibly fungus." She tried to smile offhandedly but her own words gave her a visual and she cringed.

"On second thought, I think the fungus thing was too much." She grabbed her beer and tried to wash her mouth with it. Kyoya smirked.

"But I'm hungry," she complained as they moved to the center of the party. "I haven't eaten dinner yet because Mei insisted that she needed three hours for my hair."

Her companion chuckled low as they ducked a flying vase, which broke on the wall with a sickening crunch. "And I surmise that you weren't able to protest?"

"Yeah, Mei can be quite scary when it comes to things like this."

"For her, looking good is a necessity that far outreaches that of food or sleep."

"True."

"If we get out of here alive and sober, wanna go and grab some pizza then?" Kyoya had discovered that the pizza house outside the university campus was just as good as the ones that he had in Italy before, if not better. It became a staple for the rest of the club, their only form of sustenance during midterms and finals besides the proletarian ramen and instant coffee.

"You're on," agreed Haruhi. "But it's your treat, I'm afraid. I haven't received my paycheck yet." She worked part-time at one of the university's cafes, earning enough to pay for her necessities. The boys were regulars there, hence the near brushes of her getting fired. The manager was suddenly reminded who he was dealing with when he got a surprise visit from Tachibana.

"Deal, but you gotta pay next time."

_Feh. Tight rich bastard, _thought Haruhi. Then she voiced, "But I can only pay just for the both of us. I don't think a week's pay is enough for the others' stomachs."

Unknowingly, it was a sort of invitation for a date, which did not go unmissed on Kyoya.

Tamaki was standing at a coffee table in the living room, surrounded by his fan club of giggling girls who thought that he was the best thing since the topless lap runs done by the soccer team on Fridays.

"Everyone! Listen up!" Only a few people besides his groupie came nearer but he was too drunk to care. "Who wants to play Truth or Dare?"

"I do!" shouted Mei, who suddenly materialized at Haruhi's shoulder. "You and Kyoya join too!"

"I'm not really interested," said Haruhi weakly but she let herself get dragged along. Kyoya followed, mildly interested.

"Is everybody here?" slurred Tamaki. "Good! Let's start!"

--

Finally, it was Mei's turn to pick her victim. She had just been forced to kiss some ugly guy a while ago and she's pissed. Time to take some frustration out and proceed with her plan. Apologies to Haruhi and Kyoya for whatever future damage this stunt might cause.

"Kyoya, truth or dare?" she asked, grinning maniacally.

Kyoya shrugged, he already had his second can and he was feeling warm. "Dare." He wasn't up to answering impertinent questions about his sexuality.

Mei grinned. So predictable. She gave Haruhi a sly grin before saying tremulously, "Kyoya-san, I want you to give all of the girls in this circle a striptease!" An uproar. "Wait! Not done yet! I want you to finish it with a lap dance for Haruhi!" A Mei smashed is a Mei pissed.

The girls squealed like tortured pigs at the prospect of a naked Kyoya dancing for their entertainment. A few of them pinched themselves, asking if they were dreaming, while some were convinced that they had died and gone to heaven. They could hear a girl muttering that it was the apocalypse and God has granted them one last great thing before they all die. The boys were howling as well. Everyone knew that the Ootori had a huge stick up his ass and this was prime opportunity for blackmail.

"Mei, prepare yourself," said Kyoya slowly, his voice taking a dangerous tone but Mei was too inebriated to care. "The world is a small place to hide in." Nevertheless, a deal was a deal and he stood up, climbing to the coffee table amidst all the howls.

"Yeah, yeah, just do it already!" yelled Mei. "Tell you what, do it for one song, and just take off your tops. No need for the pants." There was a chorus of boos from the audience, which had surprisingly grew bigger. But Mei had her own reasons. She could have just ordered the lap dance for Haruhi, but a girl wanted to have some fun herself and she knew that by morning, most of the girls here would claim her as their goddess. Hey, the boy shoved his disgusting tongue down her throat and this was just revenge of some sort.

Kyoya breathed deeply, praying that what he was about to do won't reach his father. He couldn't care less about the taunts that would inevitably follow this stunt, but he truly feared what his father would say. He would probably disinherit him. Then again, most of the people here were already too smashed and there was a chance that they wouldn't remember a thing. His only problem would be the people who would remember.

His eyes strayed to Haruhi, who was shouting at Mei, presumably about the lap dance after the half-striptease. Mei's eyes stopped rolling at Haruhi to stray to his and she gave him a saucy wink. Hmm. Maybe she had provided him a prime opportunity after all. He could even dispel the rumors about how he batted for the other team.

If this works, he'd send Mei on a shopping spree in Shibuya. If not, the private police were on speed dial.

A new song started and he took that as a cue to start his thing.

_Kelley, can you handle this  
Michelle, can you handle this  
Beyonce, can you handle  
I don't think you can handle this  
wooooo_

The only dances that he knew were classical dances and he doubted that he could entice anyone with a one-man waltz. Gritting his teeth, he remembered their time at the disco house and how the people there moved. The whole club danced there except him, preferring to stay by the bar amidst tons of offers from the girls (and boys) there for a dance.

How he regretted that he didn't take the opportunity to learn something new.

_Make a move, Feelin right, lookin sexy, lookin fine  
Baddest chick, chick inside, DJ jammin' night  
inspite of me, attendin' this, there you are,  
come on baby, don't you wanna, dance with me  
can you handle, handle me  
you gotta do whats betta if you gunna dance wit' me tonight, you gotta work your jelly if you gunna dance with me tonight read my lips carefully if you like what you see,  
if you move to the groove you can hang with me  
by the looks i got you shook up and scared of me  
although you sit there til time of take off_

Kyoya swung his hips to the side experimentally and the screams of encouragement and appreciation were heard. The music was highly appropriate for his dance, providing him with an opportunity to move to its beat. He rolled his shoulders, his hands running down his body in what he hoped was a sexy way. Judging from the catcalls and cheers, he was doing it right. He removed his glasses, placing one end to his mouth before trailing it down his chest and placing it in his pocket for safe-keeping.

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya baby  
I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

Remembering that it was a striptease, his fingers went up to the topmost button of his shirt and while still gyrating his hips, he unbuttoned them agonizingly slow one by one. He could hear a thud as somebody fainted.

_Baby can you handle this,  
baby can you handle this  
baby can you handle this  
I don't think you can handle this  
wooooo_

He peeled off his shirt, turning around, this time shaking his bum as well. When the shirt was off, he held it by the collar with his teeth, winking at a random girl here and there. He twirled the shirt in the air, then tossed it to Haruhi who got a face full of it. The scent of his eau de toilette--spicy with a hint of citrus and sandalwood--filled her nostrils. When she pulled it down, Kyoya gave her a smirk and the sexiest wink he could manage.

Forgetting that the show was supposed to be for everyone, he approached her slowly, still moving to the song, not caring that all eyes were on them. She was left alone on the couch for her lap dance. Her eyes were wider than ever and the can on her hands was nearly crushed from her grip. He could tell that she didn't want this but like him, could do nothing about it.

_I__'m about to break ya off,  
Destiny's child on the ball,  
leave my hips, move my thys  
swing my hair, square my eyes  
Lookin hott(ah), Smellin good(sss)  
Groove in line, from the hood  
throw my shoulder, blow you a kiss  
can you handle, handle this_

He bent to whisper to her ear, his breath hot against her skin. "So you're the lucky girl tonight, eh?" His low laugh elicited more shivers from her. "Relax, Haruhi, and enjoy it for the moment. It'll be good, I promise." He let his lips trail down her neck, inhaling her flowery scent. Straightening, his hands snaked down to his waist, under his undershirt, before taking it off completely, showing the world his toned body. Thank God that he took the time for some gym every week.

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe  
I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

_Move your body up and down(woo)  
make your booty touch the ground(woo)  
I can't help but wonder why is my vibe to vibalacious for ya babe  
I shake my jelly at every chance  
when i'm whip to my hip you jsut slip into a transe  
I'm hoping you can handle all the jelly that i have  
Now lets cuddle up while we get this chance(yeah)_

The shouts increased in volume but he was deaf to them all. He was mainly focused on the girl in front of him who seemed to be hyperventilating. He was affecting her, he saw that. It was working.

He threw the shirt to her as well, and Haruhi gulped. She couldn't move when Kyoya suddenly placed himself on her, his knees on the couch, trapping her between his thighs. His hands were beside her head on the back of the couch. He was still moving his hips, the crotch of his pants barely brushing her lap, the fabric rubbing against her exposed skin.

_Where did he learn to move like this? _wondered Haruhi. She wasn't alone on that thought.

She let out a breath she didn't know she held when one of his hands began caressing her arm and his lips were ghosting on her shoulder.

_pop body oh body  
pop body oh body oh body eh' om body oh ew oh um  
POW POW POW POW_

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

When Haruhi was near fainting herself, Kyoya mercifully moved himself from her. The girl however, cursed everything to the deepest pits of hell when instead of stopping, his fingers were on his belt and he said quietly, sensually, "I know that it was only the top required, but what do you say that we do it all the way, Haruhi?" The way he said her name made her heart stop. The blood was pounding on her ears and she knew she was blushing like mad.

What in hell happened to Kyoya that made him act this way?

The crowd was shouting their assent to that idea but Kyoya ignored them. He was more interested in what Haruhi had to say. Mei sensed this and began to rattle her friend to say yes.

Haruhi sat as still as a statue. She hoped that her nose wasn't bleeding or she might have to pack her bags at this very moment and check in with the psychiatric hospital.

"Since you won't say anything, might as well do it," Kyoya drawled, his fingers on the buckle.

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this  
Is my body to bootylicious for ya babe_

_I don't think you ready for this jelly  
i don't think you ready for this jelly  
I don't think you ready for this_

_Is my body to bootylicious for ya babey hehe!_

Then God heard Haruhi's fervent prayer and the song stopped. The assembly groaned and began to throw things at the DJ, who was sporting a nasty nosebleed and quickly repeating the song.

"Oh, dear!" said Kyoya, trying to look disappointed though inwardly relieved and stopping his movements. "Guess that's that." He gave another shrug but smiled to his newly found fans. "Thank you for your appreciation." He leaned back down to Haruhi who was slightly learning how to breathe again. But her attempts at restoring oxygen to her lungs was cut short when Kyoya leaned down and breathed to her ear the same way he did before. "I'll take this, but you keep that. Think of it as a souvenir." He took the silk shirt from her lap, leaving her with the black shirt. Kyoya placed a kiss on the underside of her ear. "I hope you enjoyed that."

He left her there, stock still as people around her began to whisper among themselves and giving her 'well-intended' teases and sly nudges. Ninety percent of the girls present were already thinking of tearing down their Tamaki shrines in place of Kyoya shrines where they could pray three times a day while sacrificing babies and virgins for a chance with their god.

Kyoya moved onto another part of the party, as the game was forgotten and the topic of conversation was Kyoya's hot number on the floor. Tamaki had his arm around his friend, asking him how he learned to dance that way. Kyoya just said that it was mere improvisation.

Haruhi decided right then and there that she was getting pissed out of her ass and proceeded to do just that, marching to the kitchen to find the biggest bottle of vodka they had.

Anything to get the unbidden images out of her head.

Kyoya and Mei were so going to pay for this.

**To Be Continued**

**A/N: **Like it? I tried to make it as sexy as I could, but I've never witnessed a lap dance before so I had to rely on Hollywood and MTV. Yeah, not much to see there. I also don't listen to this type of music, so I didn't know what song would be appropriate for Kyoya's scene. But just imagine that…I'm getting hot myself. Ehehehehe. I hope it's been enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write! : ) Please show your love!

**Disclaimer: **Kyoya is not mine. Haruhi already got the lap dance and the boy. What more could she want? Right. She wants ootoro. The song ain't mine, either. You think I could even write something as perverse as that? It's _Bootylicious_ by Destiny's Child.


	2. Chapter 2

2/2

Kyoya stared at Haruhi worriedly as she downed her fifth glass of beer...for the past half hour. She never drank this much; hell if he could remember a time during their drinking sessions when she had more than two pints of lager. Not since she got madly drunk and proceeded to bet that she would ski down the highest point in the mountain tomorrow morning and ended up nearly breaking her neck.

"Tamaki, don't you think we should stop Haruhi before she gets admitted in the ER for alcohol poisoning?" asked Kyoya, trying to keep his interest at a minimum. Just another friend looking out for a buddy, that's all it was.

Tamaki just squinted at him before collapsing on the floor. Kyoya sighed. Maybe Tamaki would need the medical attention more than Haruhi.

Speaking of Haruhi, what the hell happened to her? She joined all the drinking competitions, challenged the village drunkard with tequila shots and won, and just a few moment ago, was wondering what would happen if you mixed beer, vodka, whisky, gin, wine, and champagne.

Maybe she was doing this so that she could forget the embarrassment he caused her a few hours ago, thinking why would a friend do that to another friend.

Kyoya suppressed a snort. Nobody with a lucid mind could say that his attraction for the girl wasn't blatantly obvious as he ground into her like a rabbit in heat. He didn't know where that came from, really. All he knew was that it was time that Haruhi got to know a little bit of the torture every freaking time he was with her.

And what torture it was. He had grown...attracted to the girl ever since their days at high school. She was undeniably cute, and more than pretty when she took the time to take care of herself. But more than that, what really drew her to him was her personality. She was real, there was nothing fake about the way she acted, the way she talked, the way she thought. She wasn't like any other girls he had met before. They were all simpering, boring girls with no other motive than to prostrate themselves before him in the name of love, money, and business connections. His life had always been revolving around his family's business; he doubted that there will ever be a time in his life where he could just simply say fuck it all and bugger off for a pint. But Haruhi proved to be a welcome relief from all that. He could be just as he is when he was with her, with nobody else telling him what to do and he knew that she accepted him for that. Mind, that it was the same with the other members but it was really different with her.

Really different.

Different, like he wanted to be with her all the time, hold hands, hug, kiss, the whole shebang. Hell, while he was thinking so forward, why not dream about copulating and procreating as well?

Pause, shudder, and vomit at the thought.

And he knew that it was insanity, feeling this way for a girl when he had more things to think of. Yes, he should focus more on the family business and such.

Who was he kidding? He already owned nearly thirty percent of the company, a feat he managed by the time he was seventeen. His father owned fifty percent, and the rest to various stock holders and investors, so really, the only thing he could do now is either buy more shares or hope that his father would croak and hand him his shares.

Right. Knock on wood and spit three times.

Back to the situation at hand. Haruhi and his feelings.

Ah, might as well just get over it. Bottom line, no matter how much he tried to avoid it was this: his feelings for Haruhi were so crazy, there was a ninety percent chance they were real. Therefore, following that logic, it meant that he cared for the girl more than he wanted to admit.

So continuing those premises, it therefore concludes that Kyoya Ootori may be in love with one Haruhi Fujioka.

Logic was such a pain the ass.

--

Kyoya found Haruhi by the poolside, giggling uncontrollably while swigging from a bottle of whisky. By instinct, he grabbed the bottle from her while helping her to stand up.

"Whussa? Dun do dat!" she slurred heavily, attempting to take back the precious liquid but the monster held it up high with his other hand so she couldn't reach.

It made her want to surgically implant sticks in her legs so she would get taller, or failing that, beat him with the sticks instead.

"Haruhi," his tone was condescending. "Stop it. You're already too drunk to even form coherent words. We need to get you back to your dorm, then to bed. Come on; you have legs for a reason."

"Shuddhup!" yelled Haruhi, snatching her arm away from his vice-like grip but the bastard was too strong. "'S your fault that I'm -hic- drunk off -hic- my arsh! You, with that stoopid dance and your sexy pants, and your sexy shirt, and your pants, and your dance, and…what the hell was I sayin' again?"

Kyoya tried not to roll his eyes. "You were saying something about my trousers."

"Yes! Those stoooopid trousers. I say it again: stooooopid!" While she swayed, her legs finally decided it had had enough and no longer wanted to carry her weight. She staggered and was gracefully caught by Kyoya. She leaned on him heavily, unconsciously inhaling him. Her foggy, alcohol-addled brain registered that he smelled really, really nice. So nice that she just wanted to bury her face in his chest and just smell him forever.

"Why do you smell so nice?" she said, sobbing. "'S not fair! You stink! You stink!" She said, still crying.

Great, she just passed the irrational anger phase to the emotional level. Kyoya calculated that she still had about a minute of consciousness before the increased alcohol in her system would knock her out.

Kyoya set down the bottle at one of the nearby lounges to embrace her fully.

"Haruhi, are you okay?" he said softly, running his hands up and down her back in an effort to get her to calm down somewhat.

But he was answered with a soft snooze and for the first time that night, Kyoya praised whoever invented liquor.

--

Twenty trumpets, twelve cymbals, and three drums.

That's how many instruments were making noise inside Haruhi's head. With impressive force, she managed to crack her eyes open. Blearily, she tried to move, just to realize that she was tucked in under the covers rather tightly but cozily.

_**I need water**_, was the immediate command her body sent to her pounding brain.

Painfully putting herself up to a sitting position, she noticed that there was a glass of water and pills by her bedside. A note accompanied it that said:

_These are great hangover pills that should clear up the pain you must be feeling right now. Take them, then go back to sleep. _

_Kyoya _

Haruhi eyed the pills warily. Ah, damn. The pain was too much. She swiped the pills and downed them with water. Settling back under the covers, she slept.

--

_Where am I? _

For the second time that day, Haruhi hung between reality and the dream world. The pain she experienced what seemed like a while ago was now but a dull pain the back of her head. She got up gingerly, settling her feet down the cold floor. She checked her watch: it read four p.m.

She staggered to the closet, trying to grab some of her clothes so she could take a long, hot shower. She reeked of alcohol and God knows what else. She eyed her bed distastefully. Yup, she needed to change her sheets as well.

She slung her towel on her shoulder, took out a pair of shorts, a shirt and underwear. The bottle of expensive, never used sweet-smelling liquid soap Tamaki brought back for her from France was wedged at the back of the closet. Without much deliberation, she took it as well, thinking that it would take more than her regular soap to take out the foul odor from her body.

Grimacing slightly, she made for the door to the communal showers on their floor.

--

"Oh, crap," said Haruhi, holding the shirt by two fingers, well away from her as if it were radioactive. She had just stripped her mattress down and was surprised to see Kyoya's black shirt wedged in between her pillows. She thought she had thrown it away last night but Mei or somebody else must have picked it up and thought that she wanted it.

Memories of the past night blurred her vision and angrily, she stuffed the shirt in the laundry bag, deciding that she would wash it first before returning it to Kyoya through messenger service, of course. Like hell she could show her face to him again after that display.

As she headed downstairs for the laundry service across the street from their building, she couldn't help but think again and again what had happened last night. It was totally uncharacteristic of him to do that, and even if it was a dare, he would have just blackmailed Mei into making her ask him to do something else. Yes, that would be more Kyoya-like.

Failing that, he could have just walked away without a second thought.

So why did he do it? Was the unending question that floated in her brain.

As she reached the lobby, she was absolute in her belief that the heavens had hated her with a passion of ten thousand fiery suns for it was none other than her source of misery sitting down in one of the armchairs supplied around the room, flicking through an old magazine with the indifferent air as afforded by his status.

But more importantly, Haruhi couldn't help but feel that it was just so wrong that she thought he still looked just as sexy as he did last night.

Maybe she could pull out from uni this semester on the grounds that she needed immediate psychiatric care. She was becoming as insane as one of his groupies.

"Haruhi, good afternoon," Kyoya said, noticing her standing like an idiot, gaping at him. He stood up and made his way over to her with an uneasy, adorable smile on his face.

Damn it, she was a groupie!

"Good afternoon, Kyoya-senpai," she replied, taking a hold of herself. She skirted past him towards the glass double doors. "Good-bye."

"Wait, I need to talk to you," he said, running after her.

"What's there to talk about?" Haruhi tried to make herself sound as apathetic as she could while fumbling for the door handle with a large sack of laundry in her arms. Kyoya reached out to open the door for her. Haruhi mumbled her thanks.

"A lot," answered Kyoya, still not giving up even though Haruhi quickened her pace to the laundry shop.

"Such as?" she said, setting down the sack in one of the large chrome tables. There were only a few people in there, good. Less witnesses in case she bludgeoned him to death with a bottle of fabric conditioner.

"The weather, maybe. They said that it was going to rain today, strange at this time of year." Kyoya managed not to roll his eyes in exasperation. God, she was difficult. Now he could understand why Tamaki had more or less given up on her years ago. "No, I meant about what happened last night."

"What's to talk about there?" piped up the girl, inserting some coins in the slot of a washing machine. She pressed the button and watched her laundry tumble around the machine. "We went to a party, you got dared to dance, I got drunk and we went home. That's all. Oh, did you know who sent me home? I need to thank them. I couldn't have gotten home by myself in the state I was in." Her laugh was hollow and reverberated in both their ears.

"I brought you back home. Mei changed your clothes. Seriously, what made you drink that much? It was so unlike you. Was something wrong?"

Haruhi shook her head, still not looking at him. "No, nothing's wrong. I just decided that I needed to let loose sometime, and it was the perfect opportunity." Not to mention it was the only way I knew how to forget what you did to me, though it didn't help much. "Thanks as well for the pills. They were quite helpful."

"Oh, yes," drawled Kyoya sarcastically, leaning on the table and crossing his arms, brushing off her gratitude. "Getting shit-faced was just another way to tell the world that you could rebel too. That you're not some sweet little girl who hides behind her books all day, dreaming of her great future."

Haruhi faced him angrily. "What the hell's the matter with you? You asked, and I answered, and when you didn't like my answer, you proceed to insult me. That's it, I had it! You're always like that to me!"

"That's because you don't tell me the truth!" Kyoya exploded back, not caring that this was his first public outburst. The people around the room were staring but he paid them no heed. Realizing his mistake when Haruhi looked away again, he calmed down, raking his hand through his hair.

"That was way out of line," he said softly. "I'm sorry, Haruhi. We're all entitled to our privacy and I didn't respect that enough." Hesitantly, he reached for her and was relieved when she made no effort to slap him away. He squeezed her hand before giving her a small embrace. "I guess that there are just some things we could never say out loud, no matter the consequences. How about some coffee after you do your laundry, my treat?"

Haruhi wanted to scream at him, hit him with a trolley, and push him off a cliff for all the things he'd done to her but couldn't summon the strength to do it. She just nodded dumbly in his chest, biting her lip to stop pouting.

"Are we good?" asked Kyoya, holding her at arm's length and using commoner colloquialism in an effort to look humorous. Haruhi smiled at the feeble attempt, then nodded.

"And next time I'm being too pushy, just tell me, okay? I don't want us to ever fight again."

"I don't as well, Kyoya. I don't."

--

Haruhi had just pulled out her laundry from the dryer and was set to folding it at the table when Kyoya noticed something sticking out from the blue sheets.

"Is that my shirt?" he asked, pulling it out.

"Yeah," said Haruhi, fighting the blush from creeping up her cheeks. "I wanted to wash it first before giving it back to you."

"But I said that it was yours, to keep as a souvenir," Kyoya frowned.

"Oh, please. As if we both need a reminder of that horrible night." She went about to folding her duvet cover and enlisting his help to fold the others.

"I guess you're right." But he made no move to take it.

--

The next few weeks passed by without incident and the two remained as close as ever, whiling away the free periods they had in the coffee shops or at the university gardens, chatting about random topics from music (Italian versus Parisian opera), to politics (Hilary Clinton versus Barrack Obama). They never talked about the eventful night at the frat party again though Haruhi was amused when she found his shirt neatly folded among her bed sheets and afterwards took to using it as a nightshirt. It was very comfortable and still held the lingering scent of his cologne even after the washing. Haruhi had exacted her revenge on Mei by 'accidentally' giving the guy she had had to kiss on that truth or dare game her class schedule so that he stalked her for days until she agreed on having some coffee with him. Afterwards, she shot him down so horribly he was crying in the café while Mei hunted down Haruhi for blood.

"How are you holding up to studying for the midterms?" asked Kyoya as he stared at his friend, looking hangdog among piles of textbooks and notes. They were in a secluded part of the gardens, well away from the eyes of other people. Large hedges and tall trees blocked the small area where a stone bench sat. They had found it during one of their strolls and had used it as a place to escape everybody else, especially Kyoya's new fan club.

Haruhi had spread a blanket over the grass and was using the bench as a table while she worked on her accountancy lessons. Kyoya sat down beside her and handed her a cup of coffee from the nearest Starbucks.

Haruhi took the beverage gratefully, sighing deeply after taking a large gulp of hot relief.

"It's been murder," she answered, now digging into the pastry bag. She selected a cinnamon roll and bit into it. She swore she just tasted heaven right then and there. Of course, that could only be her brain suffering from low blood sugar but the reaction seemed appropriate.

"When have you last taken a break?" asked Kyoya worriedly. She had large circles under her eyes and looked too pale.

"I dunno. I was up late last night after I got off from work. No, wait a minute, I don't think I even slept. Then, Mei came in with her loud friends and I had to decamp if I wanted some quiet to even hear myself think."

Kyoya sighed. Haruhi was overworking herself again. He admired that drive in her but sometimes she took things too excessively. He was afraid she might be heading for an early grave if she continued this way.

"What about you? How are you holding up?" she asked, starting to pick up her pen again.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." He sighed. "I guess it was a good thing that our professor cancelled today so I could check up on you. You look like hell, Haruhi."

"Nah, I'm fine. I just need to fine tune some things, that's all." She attempted a grin but it was weak and exhausted.

Kyoya raised and eyebrow, moving behind her. He placed strong hands on her shoulders and kneaded them hard, his thumbs circling in between her scapula. Haruhi moaned in delight.

"Better?" he said, taking in her mewls.

"Much better but what are you doing?" She unconsciously put down her pen and was leaning into him.

"Helping you relax a little bit. You've overworked yourself, Haruhi. This isn't healthy."

Haruhi rubbed her eyes tiredly. "No, I'm fine. I'll just finish this account and I'll take a break, I promise." She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he wouldn't let go.

"No," said Kyoya, wounding his arms around her waist and pulling her to him. Haruhi gave up, leaning her head on the crook of his shoulder, enjoying herself. "You're taking a break now." His fingers were slowly sliding up and down her sides, melting her.

"I feel as if I'm being forced here," Haruhi half-pouted. She closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of the sun on her face and his heat at her back.

"Well, it's okay being forced if it's for your own good," said Kyoya, his voiced deepening as his arms tightened about her. "Now, sleep. I'll be here."

It was the first time Haruhi had slept soundly like that in days.

--

Haruhi awoke with a jolt, wondering where the hell she was. It was beginning to darken around her.

"Where am I?" she asked, glancing around.

"Relax, Haruhi, we're in the university gardens," answered Kyoya from above her. He was looking down at her smiling. She noticed their position with her in his arms while he leaned on the bench for support. Fragments of what happened earlier assaulted her memory and she blushed. Had she really fallen asleep like this, and in his arms, no less? Oh god, he would never live this down.

But instead of wriggling free, she said, "What time is it?"

"A little after six but don't worry, you didn't miss any classes. A classmate of yours called a few hours ago and said that your Psych class with Mr. Ibarashi was cancelled. Seems that there are a lot of professors cancelling lately."

Haruhi was relieved. For a minute there, she was afraid that she missed out on a very important lecture.

"Did you sleep, too?" she asked. He must be sore from holding her like that all this time.

"No, I was content just staring at you while you slept," he answered lightly.

Haruhi smiled. This wasn't the first time she had slept on the boys while they held her. In fact, every one of them had done it one time or the other but she found that it was Kyoya who was the most comfortable of them all and the thought made her redden.

"You must be stiff and everything then," said Haruhi, trying to get up and was a little disappointed when he let go. She stood, stretching while Kyoya stared at the wonderful arc her body made. "I'm afraid that I'm a heavy teddy bear."

"But cuddly none the less," he replied, accepting her proffered hand to stand up as well. "It's late and I'm hungry. What do you want to eat?"

"Some Chinese might be good," mused Haruhi, picking up her books and bag. "I have a hankering for some shrimp dumplings and noodles."

"Chinese it is, then."

Kyoya folded up the blanket while she rounded up her papers and stuffed them in an overflowing plastic case.

"Shall we go?" said Haruhi, finally set to go.

Her smile made something in him snap. He dropped the blanket in the ground, his arm encircling her small waist as he pulled her close to him. His other hand went to her face, caressing her jaw as she stuttered incoherently, trying to ask what he was doing.

"Doing something I should have done long ago," he mumbled before crushing his lips to hers.

To say that Haruhi was shocked beyond her senses was an understatement. His lips on hers felt so wonderful and electrifying, and damn it if she ever felt anything more amazing before. Her eyes closed as she took in the kiss, tilting her head up instinctively to deepen it.

Kyoya, meanwhile, was having an internal battle. He had wanted to do this for so long he no longer kept tabs on how many times he just wanted to be with her like this, not as a friend but as a lover, so many times he thought he was clinically insane for thinking like that in the first place. He even willed himself not to do anything to her while she slept a moment ago, thinking that he couldn't take advantage of a sleeping girl. Now that she was awake, cute and tousled, he just couldn't stop himself. He needed to taste her, be with her even if it maddened him to no end that this could be the only time he would get to do this.

The need for oxygen made him reluctantly stop his attention to her lips and he stared languidly at her, noticing her still closed eyes and lips that were searching for his own.

"Haruhi," he breathed heavily, not wanting to break the spell.

Haruhi slowly opened her eyes, confused at first then realizing with a blow what they had just done. She jumped from him, a hand on her chest and breathing hard.

"You…we…I…did we?" she blubbered, looking at everywhere except him.

"Yes, we did," he confirmed quietly. "Haruhi, look I'm sorry it happened but I just couldn't help myself. Since we entered university, I had grown attracted to you at such a rate it scared me. I just didn't know what to do and pegged it down to hormones or some such nonsense." He was babbling and he knew it but couldn't stop.

Haruhi stared at him. Is he saying what she thought he was saying? Was this actually a confession? Mind, Haruhi was still foreign to the concept even after years of men falling themselves at her feet. And now _the_ Kyoya Ootori was doing the same. Inconceivable!

Then Kyoya frowned, straightening. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, now positively scowling.

He stared at her halfway between irritation and confusion.

"I think I might be in love with you," he absolutely growled. "How annoying."

Haruhi's confusion cleared and she had to laugh. Who wouldn't?

"Kyoya, you might be the only person in the world to make the girl you love annoyed and amused at that confession." But she didn't tell him that it made her heart pound.

"Hey, I said might, okay? It wasn't an outward confession."

Haruhi was in stitches. Kyoya was unexpectedly a very hilarious person. She threw her arms around him, surprising the Ootori but he returned the embrace, not wanting to let go.

"I don't know what I feel myself, and I think I know enough that this isn't love," she explained softly, making his stomach plummet. But her next words gave him hope. "I know that I love you in the way a sister would her brother or a friend might do to another friend. But this isn't the kind of love you might see in lovers." She raised her face to him, giving him a quirky smile that held a promise. "So what do you think that we should take things slow, see where we're heading. Have a few dates, you know that kind of stuff. And in a few months, or even years and we feel that we belong together and all that stuff that they say about falling in love, then maybe we have stepped that boundary and see things seriously."

It wasn't much, but it was a lot, considering the circumstances. Kyoya nodded, bending down for a small kiss.

"I think we should give it a shot."

--

They lay on the bed, exhausted and sweaty yet sated and fulfilled. Kyoya and Haruhi had been dating on and off for the past year and a half, always bordering on that thin line of love and like. They had never said their feelings outright for one another, but they felt that they were nearing being in love more and more as each day passed.

It was sheer stubbornness that made their mouths shut into actually saying it out loud, relying more on their actions to say what they wanted to say.

But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

And as Haruhi lay, entangled in her lover's body, she knew that what she felt for this man had long ago stepped over that boundary they talked about all those years ago. However, sheer terror of rejection prevented her from saying anything.

Inevitably, the truth must be brought out. It had to happen sometime, didn't it?

"Kyoya?" she said affectionately, stroking his arm.

"Hmm?" said Kyoya, his breath fanning her neck as he nuzzled on a particularly sensitive spot.

"I think I love you," she continued, awe in her voice, as if she couldn't believe it herself. Kyoya untangled himself to hover above her, staring at her in the eye.

"Say that again." he demanded, his nose touching hers, breathing heavily in anticipation.

"I retract my earlier statement. I know that I love you…I'm sure that I'm in love with you. Come to think of it, I've only started becoming aware of my growing attraction to you when you gave me that striptease."

Kyoya smiled, grinned, then laughed outright. He held in her in a bone-crushing hug, and while she tried to breathe and laugh along with him at the same time, he muttered, "I'm also in love with you, Haruhi. I love you more than I could ever say in words."

And as they sealed their newfound love with the most tender and loving kiss, Kyoya said, "Well, you better think of a new story to tell our kids, because like hell I'll tell them we fell in love while I was giving you a lap dance."

**End**

**A/N: **Crappy ending, but I hope you liked it. My brain's fried, so it's not up to much. Still, I'm fairly happy with this ending. Also, thanks to the lovely support, encouragement, and loving this story got from all you wonderful people who were generous enough to read and leave a review as well. And oh yes, please be reminded that this is fan fiction that was mainly started as a respite for my inner fan girl-ness and an ardent wish that this would happen in the series. Yes, I know that love goes deeper than that, but like many things, it has to start somewhere. The premise of their affections might be too shallow for some, but marriages happen for even more ridiculous reasons and I'm amazed that in most of the people I've known, the marriages that tend to stick are usually the ones founded by a drunken night of sex or something more insane and the ones that head for the divorce courts are those we initially thought would last given its beginnings. There. I've said my piece and I hope that I didn't offend anybody. Again, this is just fan fiction and all views are appreciated, be it criticizing or not. Many thanks as well to Kalachuchi for the beta (I hope you're still alive and if you ever need a blood transfusion, I'm a type A).

**Disclaimer: **Kyoya eloped with Haruhi, not me. I just finished my fifth tub of ice cream over it.


End file.
